Humour Files: Airline

7 Funniest Airline Announcements

7. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "There may be 50 ways to leave
your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

6. Pilot -- "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am
going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish,
but please stay inside the plane till we's a bit cold outside,
and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."

5. After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you
enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.

4. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a
flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when
opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, be
sure that everything has shifted."

3. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but
they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember,
nobody loves you or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

2. "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your
belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight
attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

1. "Last one off the plane must clean it."

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