Humour Files: Chemistry

Male/Female Chemistry

Element: WOMAN
Symbol: Wo
Atomic Weight: approx 120

Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze
anytime. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.

Chemical Properties: Very active. Possesses strong affinity to gold, silver,
platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amount
of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed beside a better specimen. Ages

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for disintegration of wealth.
Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.


Element: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: 180 +/- 100

Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature but easily gets bent out of shape.
Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging
samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young, fresh samples.

Chemical Properties: Attempt to bond with Wo any chance it can get. Also, tends to
form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd (element Kid) for
prolonged period of time. Pretty basic. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None really, except methane production. Good samples are able to produce large
quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of Wo, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell. 

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