Humour Files: Chicken

Why/How did the Chicken Cross the Road?

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens and He said unto the Chicken, "Thou shalt cross
the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, andthere was much rejoicing. 

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to
cross the road before you believe it? 

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross
the road. 

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to
ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?" 

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals
your underlying sexual insecurity. 

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your chequebook. 

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is,
"Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe
the chicken crossing?" 

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way
that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads. 

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed'
the black man in order to trample him and keep him down. 

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question. 

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that
the chicken had crossed the road and that was good enough for us. 

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of
crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was. 

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken
depends upon your frame of reference. 

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. 

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road; it transcended it. 

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. 

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one? 

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