Humour Files: Data Backup

How to back up your data

1. Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of the disk
and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Diskettes should be rolled up
and stored in pencil holders.

2. Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic metal
particles can be removed by waving a powerful magnet over the surface of the
disk. Any stubborn metallic shavings can be removed with scouring powder and
soap. When waxing diskettes, make sure application is even. This will allow
the diskettes to spin faster, resulting in better access time.

3. Do not fold diskettes unless they do not fit in the drive. "Big"
diskettes may be folded and used in "little" disk drives.

4. Never insert a disk into the drive upside down. The data can fall off the
surface of the disk and jam the intricate mechanics of the drive.

5. Diskettes cannot be backed up by running them through the Xerox machine.
If your data needs to be backed up, simply insert two diskettes together
into the drive whenever you update a document; the data will be recorded on
both diskettes.

6. Diskettes should not be inserted into or removed from the drive while the
red light is flashing. Doing so could result in smeared or possibly
unreadable text. Occasionally the red light continues to flash in what is
known as a "hung" or "hooked" state. If your system is "hooking" you, you
will probably need to insert several dollars before being allowed to access
the disk drive.

7. If your diskette is full and you need more storage space, remove the disk
from the drive and shake vigorously for two minutes. This will pack the data
("data compression") enough to allow for more storage. Be sure to cover all
the openings with scotch tape to prevent loss of data.

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