Humour Files: Facts2



MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED
Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los
Angeles in July 1991.

LONGEST PUBES
Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28
inches from her vagina.

MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH
Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a
lubricated American football into her vagina.

WORST DRINK
The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is
Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on heir wedding night and  consists
of a small amount of still-warm very recently attained bull semen.  It is
believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.

MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL
This is available from a few select bars in New York. It contains Tomato
juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of
lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon (unused) instead of a cocktail
umbrella and is known as a 'Cunt Pump'.

GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN
Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a 'substantial' amount of Seminal
fluid. He also holds the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4in) and
the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle >velocity, with 42.7mph.

LONGEST TURD
The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced 
a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2hr 12 mins which was officially measured
at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state.

MOST PROLONGED FART
Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially
recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.


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screen. If you send this to 8 people Ronald McDonald comes out and 
attacks the Taco Bell dog.


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