If Operating Systems Ran Airlines: UNIX Airways Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building. Air DOS Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ... Mac Airlines All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look neat and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, that you really don't want to know, and that everything will be done for you without your ever having to know. OS X Airlines Where they actually fly you on BSDAir, but you find that you paid for your ticket and everyone else is flying for free... Windows Air The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever. Windows NT Air Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes. Linux Air Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. You take the seat to a location of your choice and bolt it into the deck, per the instructions. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat??? ... " XP Airlines! Passengers are told that the plane is a luxury hypersonic affair using new patent MS .AIR as a support system. Everyone tried to ground the whole shebang but somehow it survives. Passengers board the plane (which bares a stunning resemblance to the other Windows Air fleet, except that is has more people crammed on) they also notice some empty food wrappers from other airlines near the XP-AIR branded trays. The plane eventually takes off after the runway has been extended (and embraced?) to accommodate it's take off weight. 5 Mins into the flight the alarms start going off....... WARNING PASSENGER C27 Mr F Bloggs of 14 The cottages, Chorely Has shifted his weight from his left arse cheek to the right and must buy another ticket. The stewards then eject him (and the other violators) from the door at 25000FT. After that people sit very still but in half an hour they are told that the plane has been upgraded to "leg 2" and anyone not purchasing a leg 2 ticket is shoved out the "raw hatch". This process would continue until the airline were loaded and the passengers all dead, except..... 5 mins later a small bacterial deposit in the galley mulitplies out of control, bringing down the plane and spreading pestilence upon all mankind. Passengers in the terminal quietly wander over to Linux Air claiming they always knew they were great, and how hard can it be to build your own seat?
