Humour Files: OS Airlines

If Operating Systems Ran Airlines:

UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport.
They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece,
arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and the
plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on
again, and so on ...

Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look neat and
act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are
gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, that you really don't
want to know, and that everything will be done for you without your ever
having to know.

OS X Airlines
Where they actually fly you on BSDAir, but you find that you paid for your 
ticket and everyone else is flying for free...

Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage
check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air,
the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out
all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own
airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways
themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket,
but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the
plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the
seat-HOWTO.html. You take the seat to a location of your choice and bolt it
into the deck, per the instructions. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat
is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single
problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the
other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to
do what with the seat??? ... "

XP Airlines!

Passengers are told that the plane is a luxury hypersonic affair using new 
patent MS .AIR as a support system. Everyone tried to ground the whole 
shebang but somehow it survives. Passengers board the plane (which bares a 
stunning resemblance to the other Windows Air fleet, except that is has 
more people crammed on) they also notice some empty food wrappers from 
other airlines near the XP-AIR branded trays.
The plane eventually takes off after the runway has been extended (and 
embraced?) to accommodate it's take off weight. 5 Mins into the flight the 
alarms start going off.......

Mr F Bloggs of 
14 The cottages,
Has shifted his weight from his left arse cheek to the right and must buy 
another ticket.

The stewards then eject him (and the other violators) from the door at 
25000FT. After that people sit very still but in half an hour they are 
told that the plane has been upgraded to "leg 2" and anyone not purchasing 
a leg 2 ticket is shoved out the "raw hatch". This process would continue 
until the airline were loaded and the passengers all dead, except.....
5 mins later a small bacterial deposit in the galley mulitplies out of 
control, bringing down the plane and spreading pestilence upon all mankind.

Passengers in the terminal quietly wander over to Linux Air claiming they 
always knew they were great, and how hard can it be to build your own seat?

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