Humour Files: Sex

***SeX eDuCaTiOn***

Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He
had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the older boys, and he
wondered what it was and how it was done.

One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered.
Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the
curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did.
The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother:

'Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while. Then he turned off most of
the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured 'sis must be
getting sick, because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so
too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the
way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed
to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because
pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. His
other hand must have been cold because he put it under her skirt. About this
time 'sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide
down toward  the end of the couch. This was when her fever started. I knew it
was a fever, because 'sis told him she felt really hot. Finally, I found out
what was making them so sick -- a big eel had gotten inside his
pants somehow.

It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long,
honest. Anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When
Sis saw it, she got really scared -- her eyes got big, and her mouth fell
open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was
the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down at
the lake by our house! Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by
biting its head off. All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held
it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the
eel's head to keep it from biting again.

'Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and
he helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. 'Sis
started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I
guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them.

After a while, they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got
up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there,
limp, and some of its insides were hanging out. 'Sis and her boyfriend were a
little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting anyway. He
started hugging and kissing her again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It
jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats...

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