Humour Files: Speed



Item in Berwickshire Gazette

A report has revealed that two traffic patrol officers from North
Berwick were involved in an unusual incident whilst checking for
speeding motorists on the A1 road between Oldhamstocks and Grantshouse.
Last May, they were using a hand-held radar device to trap unwary
motorists on the Edinburgh to London trunk road. One of the unnamed
officers used the device to check the speed of an approaching vehicle,
and was surprised to find that his target had registered a speed in
excess of 300 miles per hour.

The 5000 machine then seized up and could not be re-set by the bemused
PC's. The radar had in fact latched on to a NATO Tornado aircraft in
the North Sea, which was taking part in a simulated low-flying exercise
over the Borders and Southern Scotland. Following a complaint by Sir
William Sutherland, Chief Constable of the Lothian & Borders Police
force to the RAF liaison office, it was revealed that the officers had a
lucky escape - the tactical computer on board the aircraft not only
detected and jammed the "hostile" radar equipment, but had automatically
armed a Sidewinder air-to-ground missile ready to neutralise the
perceived threat. Luckily the Dutch pilot was alerted to the missile
status and was able to override the automatic protection system before
the missile launched. The Police have so far declined to comment,
although it is understood that officers will be advised to point their
radar guns inland in future.


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