Humour Files: Terminology



Top 20 Engineers' Terminologies
----------------------------------------------------------------------
 
   1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED - We will give
      it some thought.
   2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE
      PROBLEM - We just hired three kids fresh out of college.
   3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION - We know who to blame.
   4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH - It works OK, but looks very
      hi-tech.
   5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED - We are so far behind
      schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.
   6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE - The darn thing
      blew up when we threw the switch.
   7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING - We are so surprised that
      the stupid thing works.
   8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED - The only person
      who understood the thing quit.
   9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS - It is so wrapped up in red tape that the
      situation is about hopeless.
  10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT - Forget it! We have enough problems for
      now.
  11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL - Let's spread the responsibility for the
      screw up.
  12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING - We'll listen to what you
      have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've
      already done.
  13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION - I can't wait to hear this!
  14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS - Come into my office, I'm lonely.
  15. ALL NEW - Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.
  16. RUGGED - Too heavy to lift!
  17. LIGHTWEIGHT - Lighter than RUGGED.
  18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - One finally worked.
  19. ENERGY SAVING - Achieved when the power switch is off.
  20. LOW MAINTENANCE - Impossible to fix if broken.


Return to Humour page Return to The Other Stuff