Women's English (so true) --------------- Yes = No. No = Yes. Maybe = No. We need = I want. I'm sorry = You'll be sorry. We need to talk = I need to complain. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to. Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later. I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. You're so...manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like. MEN'S ENGLISH (even more true... apparently) ------------- I'm hungry = I'm hungry. I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy. I'm tired = I'm tired. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! I love you = Let's have sex now. I'm bored = Do you want to have sex? What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next ten minutes. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
