Humour Files: US Navy


"No matter what happens, the U.S. Navy is not going to be caught
napping." - U.S. Secretary of Navy, December 4, 1941

Setup: The chief of United States naval operations has released the
       following transcript of a radio conversation between a US
       Navy ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland
       in  October 1995.

US ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a

Canadian reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the
                south to avoid a collision.

US ship: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert
         your course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert your course!

US ship: This is the aircraft carrier USS Missouri; we are a large
         warship of the US Navy. Divert your course now!!

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

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